Dateline: Babylon, 22 June 323 BC
• High-level talks continue between military rivals Perdiccas, Ptolemy, Seleucus, Antipater, Antigonus, Cassander, and other acknowledged contenders for the mantle of Alexander the Great, but disputes between the negotiating teams have become increasingly rancorous.
• The principals, however, shrugged off notions of plots or foul play. “Just because everybody is at each others’ throats doesn’t mean that we, or they, or anybody killed him,” huffed one of the frontrunners.
• For his part, the press secretary for All Things Alex also downplayed the general antagonism, saying, “It’s not surprising. After all, vast territories lightly conquered by the super-warrior are at stake. Talk about wearing a lot of hats: the man was not only King of Macedon, he was King of Kings of Persia, Pharoah of Egypt, and Lord of Asia.”
• The secretary went on to say, “You ask me, the real nightmare are those 15 or more planned cities, all of them named ‘Alexandria.’ That’ll be a real head-banger to sort out.”
Meanwhile, a crack mellification team continues work on an around-the-waterclock basis, embalming Alexander with honey. The team’s top experts are tight-lipped about the spices and other ingredients used in the process, referring to them only as “a special secret sauce.”