Dateline: Damascus, Syria, 4 January 321 BC
• After months of travel westward from Babylon, the miles-long funeral cortege of Alexander the Great took a bizarre detour today after an unknown number of attendants and honor guards accompanying the expired leader’s body were killed in a melee.
• The fracas began when the record attendance-breaking cortege approached Damascus, Syria, and was met by Ptolemy I of Egypt, one of the successor generals, and his army. Instead of the expected ceremony to honor his fallen commander, the 40-year-old generalissimo ordered his troops to forcibly divert the mule-drawn cortege and its glittering burden.
• As he headed south, Ptolemy shouted, “I’m not doing this for myself! Alex would have wanted it this way.”
• The cortege was last seen heading toward the Egyptian capital city of Memphis. A surviving eyewitness of the debacle, identified as the overseer of the official Mellify Muletrain, said, “Blinkin’ Ptolemy snatched up the Great One without so much as a by-your-leave. Worse yet, he stole 64 of my best mules. I ask you–who’s going to reimburse me for my loss?”
Alex, on the road again
Every time I read your posts, I laugh. A guaranteed pick-me-up. And Ptolemy’s comment? Priceless.
He had a lot of ’splaining to do, I think. Sure, his dear friend Alex had gotten the go-ahead from the oracle at Siwa, Egypt, “yep, you’re a top deity—next, please.” But no one can be reallllly sure that Alex’s last wish was to be buried in Egypt and not Macedon, his birthplace.
What do you think?
If history texts were written this way, kids might remember more. Put it in a format they can relate to and it’ll stick.
Personally, I think he would have preferred to go home.
@ library pat: Alex was from Macedon, and their kings were traditionally buried at Agae or Pella. But Alex also had a deep connection with Egypt, since the oracle at Siwa had declared him the incarnation of the god Amon-Re. Glad you think that kids could learn more from history told this way.